How do monsters count to 15?
On their fingers.
What should you take if you're run down?
The number of the car that ran you down.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one.
Do men always snore?
Only when they're asleep.
How do hens dance?
Chick to chick.
Why was the sword swallower put in prison?
Because he coughed and killed two people.
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede?
What gets plenty of answers but never asks any questions?
What do ghosts do at 11am?
Have a coffin break.
What sort of ghosts haunt hospitals?
How can you double your money?
Fold it in half.
Who invented fire?
A bright spark.
How can you get rid of varnish?
Remove the R.